What do you tell yourself and others about your life? Do you paint a picture of your life as happy and optimistic or as somber and sad?

It’s not what happens to us in this life but it is what we do with and about what happens to us in this life. Life is not fair. Never has been. Never will be. That’s just the way it is. So if you don’t like the hand that you’ve been dealt you have a right to complain all you want but that won’t change circumstances and it won’t make it better. It will make it worse.

Our lives are defined by the stories we tell ourselves and others. Good things happen to everybody and bad things happen to everybody. But it’s the story we tell that emphasizes the event.

We’ve all heard inspiring stories about people who have overcame hardships and difficulties. Those are the stories everyone likes to hear. They remind us of the triumph of the human spirit. On the other hand we all hear stories of gloom and doom from often well-meaning friends, loved ones, relatives. We hear exaggerated stories of sickness and despair. But all of the exaggeration of the bad brings more bad to your life. You get what you focus on. You see what you look for. If you are focusing on “how bad it is” that is what you are getting, more of “how bad it is”. If you are focused on the good that is what you get more of “the good”.

You can choose the stories you tell in your own life. You can choose to downplay the bad things and focus on the good things.

You can choose to put your emotions into the happy and joyful things and minimize your emotional words and stories about the bad things. We all have things we don’t like and things that happen to us that we would rather not have in our lives, but our lives go on. And our stories go on. The definition of what happened to you lies in the story you tell about it. When you change your story, you change your life because you changed the meaning and the definition of what happened.

Viktor Frankl, the holocaust survivor and the author of the great book “Man’s Search for Meaning” said

“Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Mr. Frankl survived one of most horrific events of all times. He could have told a horrendous story but he chose not to. Somehow he found meaning in it and he chose for his story to be a triumph of the human spirit.

May he inspire us all.

What makes successful people successful?

We would all love to be able to walk down to the local supermarket and pick up a bottle of success. But let’s look past that fantasy and find out one of the most basic reasons why people become successful.

Right now, think of someone that you know personally who is successful. Can you see their face in your mind?

Good.

Now ask yourself this question, “Does this person have a successful routine or set of habits that makes them successful?” I would be shocked if they didn’t.

Sometimes the only difference between being successful and being average is having successful habits. Some examples of successful habits could be getting up earlier, doing thing when they need to be done, being prepared, or effective time management.

So how do you start to build these success habits in your life? Here are 4 tips on creating successful habits.

1. Identify – Find the areas in your life that need changing. Write down these new habits that need to be formed. Don’t become overwhelmed at trying to figure out how you are going to form all of these habits.

2. Pick 2 – Most people sabotage themselves by trying to change everything at once. Instead, pick one major and one minor habit that you want to form. For the next 30-90 days these will be the success habits that you will create.

3. Start small – Now that you have your two success habits, create a daily or weekly routine that is easy to follow. For instance, let’s say that you want to wake up an hour earlier so that you can get more successful things done. Instead of setting your alarm an hour earlier right at the beginning, only set it 2-5 minutes earlier every morning until you reach your goal. This way it would take you 30 days or 12 days respectively to create your success habit.

Remember, the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.

4. Repeat – Once you have created your new habits move on to the next 2 success habits that you want to create. Before you know it you will have created a whole new life full of success filled habits.

Just imagine where you will be in one year if you follow these four keys to creating successful habits. If it takes you only 60 days to create 2 habits, you will have created 12 success habits in just one year!

One of the key ingredients for success can be summed up with one simple word—Focus! On what? That’s easy—one thing at a time. You see, in this fast-paced, “multitask” society we live in, it seems we are judged by how many different things we can do all at one time; yet in reality, we can only do one thing well at any given time.

Imagine being on your computer playing music, checking emails, working on a Word document, Excel worksheet, and PowerPoint presentation, and looking up stuff on the Internet. Your system might move pretty slowly. Right? Guess what? The same applies to us. We can do things faster and better, if we focus on only one thing at a time.

To illustrate this point even more, I want to share the following example with you.

It’s 4th down, 12 seconds remain on the clock, and your team is down by 3 points. You are the wide receiver in the biggest football game of your life, and you are called upon to win the game for the home crowd. You line up to begin the final play. The ball is snapped and you run down field.

As the ball is heaved down field in your direction, you feel the anticipation of the event which is about to unfold. You envision it all in your head, step-by-step, move-by-move. You know exactly what is going to happen.

You catch the ball. You tuck it in close with the outside arm to keep from fumbling. You twist left and then right, throwing the defenders off guard. As more people run your way, you spin to the side, and dodge one close call after another, while jumping over the opponents like they are nothing more than simple obstacles.

You soar into the end zone. The gun explodes, ending the game. Your team is victorious. Your teammates rush the field and hoist you up on their shoulders. The crowd goes wild, chanting your name in unison.

Later that night, you are the talk of the town. Everyone wants to have a moment of your time to tell you “great job!” or shake your hand or pat you on the back. This is your time to shine! All the years of training and hard work have paid off. All eyes are on you. You are the man of the hour. Then BAM!

Your mind brings you back to the moment. You were lost in your imagination. You lost focus and redirected your thoughts and energy. The pass is drawing near. You juggle the ball as you start to run for the goal. The ball is never securely in your hands. The ball slides through your hands to the ground. The crowd goes silent in disbelief.

The only thing you hear is a voice inside repeating one of the coach’s basic lessons, “Before you can do anything else, you first need to catch the ball. Until you do that, everything else is pointless.”

Now, let me ask you—did you catch the ball? How many things are you juggling in your life?

Learn to focus on one thing, master it well, and then move on to another. Focus may be the missing ingredient in your recipe for success.

Best wishes and whatever you do….. keep smilin’